This morning we went with our American heritage girls unit to a nursing home to hand out baby dolls. While I stood there holding Matthew in his young infant life surrounded by women who have lived large full lives. Women who can no longer take care of themselves even though I'm sure have taken care of countless loved ones. In an instant my breath was taken away and I am not sure if I felt great happiness or great sadness. It was perspective changing for sure. It makes you think what you hope for and what is ahead. It makes you want to stop the train still the breeze right where you are in life. A life everyday full of firsts and lasts and we don't stop long enough to savor them to sit in them and give it what it deserves. No we get caught up in squabbles and arguments and comparisons and hurt. Our own hurt or hurt we perceive from others. So many stupid petty arguments so many people family not caring for one another. Instead of comparing differences in family members coworkers and friends or one upping them why don't we embrace them and share the love of the journey oh so brief we are allowed to experience. One day when we are in that nursing home will we still be counting everyone else's sins will we still be belittling people to make our weak attempt at success look better. . Or will we sit full of regret? Full of words we'd wished we said, hugs we'd wished we gave, encouragement we withheld because it didn't make us look good. Kindness we didn't extend time we withheld because we were angry. Phones we didn't answer because we just didn't want to deal with that person at that moment. Do we take the time to realize how quick the train is.
My breath is still heavy my heart is still confused. My faith is in God who I pray I'm following where He's leading. Regrets are boundless hurts that only He can heal.
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